Tuesday, December 3, 2013

The New Internet Diet

I was very happy to have spent last month posting every day on the blog, for the reasons I've already mentioned.  There was, however, one issue that detracted from the overall personal success.  I had to be at the computer for some part of every day.  And even though the NaBloPoMo was taken up to help me build writing habits, it did nothing to improve my Internet gluttony and the Internet meandering that comes with it. 

During the summer, I decided to try to spend one day, usually Sunday, without using the computer at all.  I picked Sunday, not for the holy, "Sabbathy" connotations, but because it is a day there is no business to do that can't wait until Monday.  I was doing pretty well too, because not doing something seems easier than actually doing anything.  I read the Sunday paper to get information, but never sat down at the computer all day. And it was good. I started the Internet fasting idea after realizing that I spend a lot of time just noodling around on the net, and even though I find really interesting things to read and look at and cook and try to DIY and put on the blog, etc., there is something about the browsing that is always unsatisfying. 
When I find something cool, there is always a nagging thought that I must also be missing something, possibly many somethings, even cooler.  You follow a link, it leads to an article, which contains a link to a video on a site you've never visited before.  There is that "Aha" moment of finding something new, but for me there is also a reminder that there is a ton of other stuff I'll never link to, just because I don't know it's there.  I would have to multiply my computer time by ten to even get half of it, and that would, I'm sure, also increase the feeling that there was more that I hadn't seen, and so on, and so on, like the old Faberge shampoo commercials where the model with silky hair keep multiplying, and so on, and so on. 

On a related note: I had totally forgotten that Heather Locklear did this commercial, and I just lost almost twenty eight minutes reading about her illustrious career.  I forgot all of the shows she'd been in.  Spin City?  TJ Hooker?  Dallas... Wow.  I mainly remembered that she was married to Richie Sambora and that she was rumored to have dated David Spade.  Then I had to look him up-- and how is he related to Kate Spade, superstar handbag designer? (brother in- law)  and how long was he on SNL? I was only thrown free of that Internet twister when I stopped to wonder how I ended up watching a clip from Tommy Boy-- hey, when did Chris Farley pass? How long was he on SNL? Did he ever date Heather Locklear?)

You can see that I need help.  Or I could end up living in a van down by the river.  Yeah, I followed the Chris Farley thread.  I hang my head in shame...

This is why I have to cut the fat out of my Internet program.  I spent what I think was a productive forty five minutes "unsubscribing" (take a moment to shudder at the made up tech word, then let it go) from a few dozen email lists for things like stores and surveys and alumni groups.  That cuts down on some of the meandering and on the sheer bulk of email checking.   There is something almost depressing about seeing that your inbox is overflowing with the electronic equivalent of auto glass ads and coupons for free bikini waxes when all you want to do is get some information. I also just have to go back to limiting the time I spend at the computer.  I can write on-- get this-- paper, or at the computer without having to open the Internet browser. But it's so seductive.  You know... I'll just play some music... I'll open Spotify and oh, wait, I just need to Google something real quick... Oh look, something sparkly!  Yeah, once I turn it on, it's all down hill, so I have to have more will power.  More?  I mean some.  Some will power.

That's the ticket-- will power.  I'll just totally control all my impulses to distract myself on-line.  Yeah, right.  Then, for my next trick, I will lose fifty pounds by "eating right" and avoiding chocolate and other tempting treats. 

Maybe I'll just work on the Internet thing first...

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